Author: BRIAN OTIENO
AfricaPress-Kenya: If you ask Alego-Usonga MP Samuel Atandi why his colleagues wanted to lynch him in Parliament on Tuesday, he would say it was because he stood with the truth.
The truth, he would tell you, was that the kings and queens of Bunge were naked and that it was not a pleasant sight.
A recent opinion poll ranking the performance of waheshimiwa had burst their bubble, revealing to them that they were not as popular as they claimed to be or thought they were.
Atandi would say that, in defending the study by polling company Infotrak, he was only urging his colleagues to pull up their socks. But as he would find out, he should have thought twice before asking that of an unclothed person.
“Even though I am not rated properly, this opinion poll is very credible. The results are fair,” Atandi claimed, amid angry chants of ‘Shame!’ from those baying for his blood.
The shouts grew louder as he spoke and had Speaker Justin Muturi not intervened, he would have probably left the chamber minus a shoe.
By endorsing the poll, he had broken the most sacred rule among waheshimiwa: Thou shall not appear to be speaking for wananchi unless it is campaign season.
Those who spoke before him tore into the poll that essentially declared them non-starters. It was false, they said, as they hurled insults at the psephologists.
Suba North MP Millie Odhiambo seemed to have lost sleep over the matter, having been a perennial ‘low-performer’.
Before she suggested that Parliament try out the Jerusalema challenge, she was calling ‘Agatha’ (Angela) Ambitho, Infotrak’s boss, all manner of names. Her remarks opened the floodgates for lamentations from her colleagues.
Some, while explaining why they had ranked poorly, claimed to have been called by a nameless person to some plush office in uptown Nairobi and asked to pay a fee for favourable ranking.
Being the saints that they are, they all rebuked the overtures. Curiously, none of those who ranked higher up got the call.
The waheshimwa ranted, with the underlying message being that more regulation was required to restrain pollsters from soiling their reputation.
Everyone seemingly had ideas on how to tame Infotrak. But, as expected, some were brighter than others.
Shinyalu MP Justus Kizito suggested that the media should cover all parliamentary proceedings. That, he argued, would create sufficient awareness on the hard work that honourable members do.
He, however, forgot to mention MPs’ obsession with chasing journalists away from some of their sittings under the guise of discussing matters touching on national security.
But Dagoretti South’s John Kiarie begged to differ. According to him, MPs do not need journalists. “If we do not tell the story of Parliament, it will be told by someone else,” he stated.
His sentiments found favour with yet another genius, Nominated MP Godfrey Osotsi, who proposed that Parliament should have its own opinion poll. In this way, perhaps, all members would tie at position one.
Having seen the fury that visited the traitor, Kitui South MP Rachael Nyamai and Emuhaya’s Omboko Milemba were subtle in their support.
“I was in a local church,” Milemba, who ranked first, credited divine intervention for his exemplary performance.
