Africa-Press – Lesotho. Thiskakisthekakofallkaks. That’s not gibberish passed off as some language. Read slowly. Muckraker typed that after being bamboozled by the shocking news that the Feselady wants the High Court to change her bail conditions.
The Queen of Drama Queens (QoDQ) wants the court to remove the condition that she reports to the police station once every two weeks. Let that sink in like a cold Maluti Lager on a scorching summer day.
While that percolates, a little bit of history is in order. When she was fighting for bail in June last year, the gist of her argument was that she had to take care of her ailing hubby who she claimed had Alzheimer and is incontinent.
That sounded dubious but struck a chord. Here was a loving wife desperate to nurse her spouse. This time she is not bothering the court with that emotional blackmail.
Nor is she conjuring some sophisticated legal arguments to justify why she needs the freedom. No. She simply doesn’t want to report to the police because she is tired of doing so.
The pith and marrow of her application is that the visits to the police station are a waste of both her time and energy. She says she has reported to the police 30 times “for one and the same thing”.
Simple like that. And just in case the court thinks she is the only one fatigued, the Feselady says even the police are tired of seeing her. Hear, hear, hear.
“This reporting has become not only meaningless but extremely tedious not only to your petitioner but to the police as well,” the Feselady says in what history will record as the most inane justification in an application to vary bail conditions.
“The police understandably are tired of seeing her and having to stamp her bail bond which is now full of stamps and they say so every time she reports,” the Feselady’s lawyer argues.
Muckraker is no legal fundi but she will tell you this is a thunderous lie told with a tinge of arrogance. No police officer will ever be tired of seeing a former First Lady walking into a police station as a murder suspect to just say “present!” and drive back home.
It’s hilarious, especially when it’s someone who once thought they would be in the State House until donkeys grow horns and pigs can play the accordion.
Nothing is as pleasurable as watching the powerful bite the dust and being humbled. Police officers wish she would report to the police every day so they can witness her misery.
She is the source of comic relief at the police station. The police should start asking schools to organise visits to the police station to see her reporting.
She is a teaching aid in lessons on justice, power, humility and crime prevention. The Feselady should tell the court the real reason she doesn’t want to report to the police.
Muckraker knows it has nothing to do with being tired or the reporting being pointless. Neither is it because she wants to travel with her hubby during the festive season.
The real reason she doesn’t want to report is that it reminds her of school, something she hates with passion. The visits bring harrowing memories of her teacher marking the register.
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