Africa-Press – Lesotho. HLOMPHO Mohatla, 24, got pregnant out of wedlock twice and attempted suicide twice. In all these instances, she was too afraid to discuss her problems with her parents.
She is now under psychiatric treatment after years of secretly harbouring suicidal thoughts amid fears to open up on her anxieties. “I am grateful to have finally embarked on the journey of healing,” Mohatla, a depression survivor, said.
She said an unwanted teenage pregnancy contributed to her depression. She was only 15-years-old and in Grade Nine when she first got pregnant. “I knew something was wrong with me but I couldn’t point a finger on exactly what it was,” she said.
She said “a lot happened” as she experienced many challenges at home and at school. “My problem was bottling up as I didn’t know who to talk to and I eventually popped.
” Despite her troubles after giving birth to her first child, Mohatla managed to further her studies at Limkokwing University of Creative Technology.
“While studying, I got pregnant again,” she said.
“Its impact left me in a dark place. I felt like I was a big letdown to my parents and I was really mad at myself because it was not long after my first pregnancy. It pained me.
”
She said when the reality of reopening her parents’ wounds with a second child sunk in, she had suicidal thoughts.
“I was stressed and I wanted the easy way out, a scapegoat, but there was no one to blame,” she said, adding that “I had disappointed everyone close to me again.
I betrayed myself and it hurt me so bad that I had headaches, migraines. ” She recalled when she wanted to act on her suicidal thoughts at her boyfriend’s place on a day he was working nightshift.
She said she bought four boxes of migraine pills planning to overdose herself to death. “I drank some and while at it, my phone’s light flashed and I saw my son’s face on the screen.
I looked at my son’s face and wondered who would take care of him when I die,” she said. The feeling that she would leave her son in an emotionally toxic environment made her change her mind.
At that time, her boyfriend returned home because he had decided not to go to work for an unexplained reason. “His return forced me back home as I wanted to be alone, cry and process everything that could have happened,” she said.
At that time, she said she was still hiding her second pregnancy. She became a heavy drinker but that only worsened her situation. Mohatla recalled a day when she was at a night club and another suicidal thought chipped in and she thought of jumping off the balcony onto a moving car.
“I wished I could just be hit by a car and it would look like an accident so that I wouldn’t be accused of committing suicide.
”
She said her plan was again disrupted, this time by a friend who pulled her away from the balcony. She said her suicidal thoughts “got worse when the pregnancy started showing and my parents questioned me”.
“I knew I desperately needed a change of environment to think straight again hence I took my last M100 and visited my sister in Quthing,” she said.
Mohatla said it was the best decision she made at the time “as it was then that I pondered about the whole pregnancy thing and dealt with it”. She said it was a challenge to speak out because “I am not a person who talks too much”.
“I expressed myself through poetry and short stories which I shared on my social media platforms. It is important to talk and I am taking my healing journey slowly.
”
Mohatla shared her story at an Institute of Development Management (IDM)’s mental health awareness day gathering running under the theme “Mental Health in Unequal World”.
“It is vital for students to join the discussions because often people are unaware of mental health challenges and they need psycho education from experts,” said IDM Director, Thibeli Molapo.
Molapo said the institute often records most mental health illness cases at higher learning institutions. “Understanding it is of importance as it will help us make informed decisions,” Molapo said.
’Mathabo Sibilo, the IDM Registrar, said the cases showed the extent of vulnerability among students.
“Students still struggle to balance things that happen in their lives and this could lead to depression,” Sibilo said, adding that psychosocial support services offered by the institute have helped lessen the problem.
“If the problem is beyond our officer, she refers the patients to relevant people to help,” she said, encouraging students to continue using the services.
She said students are living in a more difficult era as they are exposed to social media platforms where they exert social pressures on each other through show-off behaviour.
“They hurt each other there and some people cannot handle it hence they resort to suicide,” she said.
A psychiatric mental health nurse at Mohlomi Mental Health Hospital, Kefuoe Ramone, defined depression as “an emotional, psychological and social wellbeing of a person, it affects how one thinks, feels and acts”.
“Their behaviour is unusual based on age, habits, belief, culture and norms or expectations,” Ramone said.
She said causes of suicide or suicidal thoughts range from problems during child birth, teenage pregnancy, substance abuse, heredity, poverty, break-ups, divorce or body parts, crisis and toxic environment.
She said signs of depression include excessive worry, anxiety or fear, extreme headache and pain, dramatic changes in sleep patterns, social withdrawal, fighting, extreme changes in moods, hallucinations and delusions.
She said stigma by family members or society remains a challenge and usually forces people with mental health problems to end up on the streets again after being discharged from hospital.
Pearl Letsoela, a psychologist at Mohlomi Hospital, said mental health prevention requires emotional intelligence. “It helps one to avoid a lot of things.
The mind, body and soul have to be at peace,” Letsoela said. She encouraged people to accept their backgrounds instead of putting themselves under pressure.
“Let’s strive for acceptance in all stages of our lives…live within your means. We don’t have to succumb to peer pressure,” she said. Letsoela said suicide cases are becoming much more common in Lesotho.
“It can be prevented by talking, but not just with anyone but people who can be trusted.
People who kill themselves or try to commit suicide shouldn’t be made fun of as they are ill and need help. Often such people give pointers either through their acts or conversations.
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She said the hospital offers psychological services, coping strategies, social work and occupational therapy.
“We equip patients with coping skills to avoid a dependency syndrome,” she said.
Mohlomi social worker, Ithabeleng Matumane, said patients need support, not discrimination. “Support groups can be established in schools to show support.
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Tlhokomelo e Nepahetseng Mental Health Association Representative Lucy Makhalanyane said mental health is taken for granted in Lesotho as psycho education is still not readily available to many people.
“Mental illness victims don’t have to be treated in a special facility unnecessarily, we need a holistic approach to health care,” Makhalanyane said.
The Director of Mental Health in the Ministry of Health, ’Moelo Ramahlele, said Lesotho is currently using the outdated 1964 laws on mental health. “It is way outdated and doesn’t work for Basotho anymore,” Ramahlele said.
She said through the World Health Organisation (WHO) funding 10 years ago, the ministry tried to amend the law but failed because authorities didn’t give it the priority it deserved.
“I doubt we will ever get funding as there were no results for the initiative. It didn’t even reach the drafting stage because it was clouded by other laws that were being prioritised.
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She said she has been pushing for a mental health policy for decades but without success.
“Even if we can source funding, nothing can be done without the policy.”
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