{"id":37201,"date":"2023-12-25T09:49:55","date_gmt":"2023-12-25T09:49:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.africa-press.net\/lesotho\/all-news\/going-home-for-the-holidays-how-to-navigate-conflict-and-deal-with-difficult-people"},"modified":"2023-12-25T10:06:55","modified_gmt":"2023-12-25T10:06:55","slug":"going-home-for-the-holidays-how-to-navigate-conflict-and-deal-with-difficult-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.africa-press.net\/lesotho\/all-news\/going-home-for-the-holidays-how-to-navigate-conflict-and-deal-with-difficult-people","title":{"rendered":"Going home for the holidays? How to navigate conflict and deal with difficult people"},"content":{"rendered":"

Africa-Press – Lesotho. <\/strong><\/span>The holiday season is upon us and for many that means all the tension that comes with it. This time of year can be a minefield of uncomfortable moments, disagreement and outright conflict.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s no wonder many young people are apprehensive about returning home for the holidays after living far away. There are many reasons interpersonal difficulties can arise over the holidays.<\/p>\n

Perhaps your aunt doesn\u2019t like what you did with her pie recipe, or your friend\u2019s new partner has unsettling political beliefs. Maybe you haven\u2019t lived at home in a while, but your family still talks to you like you\u2019re the same person you were in school.<\/p>\n

Maybe you\u2019re bringing your partner to meet your family for the first time, and aren\u2019t sure whether everyone will get along. People have socialised less with friends and family since the pandemic, and may be feeling out of practice.<\/p>\n

This can be compounded by all the things people can disagree about. Some topics are higher risk for blowups, and best avoided in such settings (religion and politics, for starters).<\/p>\n

Whether it\u2019s true or not, there\u2019s a popular perception that tricky subjects are more numerous and divisive than ever. Dare one bring up anything adjacent to Brexit, vaccinations or the cost of living? Even bringing your mobile phone to the dining table could get you in trouble.<\/p>\n

This article is part of Quarter Life, a series about issues affecting those of us in our twenties and thirties. From the challenges of beginning a career and taking care of our mental health, to the excitement of starting a family, adopting a pet or just making friends as an adult.<\/p>\n

The articles in this series explore the questions and bring answers as we navigate this turbulent period of life. You may be interested in: Moving back home doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019ve failed in life \u2013 here\u2019s why<\/p>\n

Why you\u2019re less likely to get rich these days if your parents aren\u2019t already wealthy Four tips to avoid your office Christmas party turning into a superspreader event<\/p>\n

So what happens if your uncle has too much mulled wine and something slips out that annoys or even horrifies you? Family arguments are a common theme in holiday films, but their scripted resolutions are rarely realistic and not based on empirical research.<\/p>\n

By considering how these things work in the context of real interactions, we can move from what sounds good in theory to what we can put into practice.<\/p>\n

In real-world situations, interactions can escalate before you\u2019re even fully aware that they\u2019re happening. You might be able to anticipate why and how an interaction might become a problem.<\/p>\n

Does alcohol generally lead to arguments in your family? Are your parents usually hypercritical of your new partners? Consider how to avoid problems before they start.<\/p>\n

In the moment, you can often spot \u201cclues\u201d that something is about to go awry. Trouble doesn\u2019t usually emerge solely because of one person, but through the back-and-forth between people.<\/p>\n

Assuming too much about who might be \u201cthe difficult one\u201d and why won\u2019t be helpful on its own. You have to learn to recognise the conversational moves people are making (including your own) and see how other people respond to them.<\/p>\n

Some facial expressions can express doubt or distrust, and contemptuous expressions (such as eye-rolling) can signal that a conversation might take a turn toward insult rather than discussion.<\/p>\n

A response that starts with the word \u201cwell\u201d can be warning of incoming disagreement. As you notice what ways of speaking get what kinds of responses, you can be more thoughtful about what you choose to say.<\/p>\n

Even changing a single word can shift the direction of a conversation. A common sign that a conversation is starting to escalate unhelpfully is that people begin commenting on the conversation itself and accusing one another of unreasonable behaviour.<\/p>\n

Once you learn to be more conscious of that, it can help you reflect on how to respond in ways that might deescalate. . . if that\u2019s what you want to do.<\/p>\n

There is a dilemma here: sometimes backing down from a conflict challenges our values of authenticity and commitment to our beliefs. If someone says something insulting, whether mild or egregious, it feels disingenuous and morally irresponsible to smooth things over.<\/p>\n

Some conflict is worth engaging, especially with someone you care about who is willing to listen and think about things. The complication is, that\u2019s not always the case.<\/p>\n

Often when people argue about something they care about, they end up misaligned or \u201ctalking at cross purposes\u201d, where they\u2019re not really even discussing the same thing anymore.<\/p>\n

Every conversation has a trajectory, but it\u2019s entirely possible for a conversation to have parallel or divergent trajectories. In such cases, it\u2019s unlikely that any amount of good-faith discussion is actually going to be productive.<\/p>\n

At the end of the day, it\u2019s also worth considering what makes a person or conversation \u201cdifficult\u201d. Assigning that word to someone is not a neutral or objective statement.<\/p>\n

Maybe you, in fact, are the \u201cdifficult person\u201d. Maybe, for some kinds of conflict, you should want to be difficult. And maybe, sometimes, it\u2019s alright to go outside and let off steam with a snowball fight.<\/p>\n

For More News And Analysis About Lesotho<\/a> Follow Africa-Press<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Africa-Press – Lesotho. The holiday season is upon us and for many that means all the tension that comes with it. This time of year can be a minefield of uncomfortable moments, disagreement and outright conflict. It\u2019s no wonder many young people are apprehensive about returning home for the holidays after living far away. There […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":84,"featured_media":37200,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,9],"tags":[233,246,245,271],"class_list":["post-37201","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-all-news","category-miscellaneous","tag-africa-press","tag-africa-press-lesotho","tag-lesotho","tag-school"],"yoast_head":"\nGoing home for the holidays? 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