{"id":4992,"date":"2021-10-25T08:37:24","date_gmt":"2021-10-25T08:37:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.africa-press.net\/lesotho\/all-news\/the-thrill-of-infidelity"},"modified":"2021-10-25T15:16:19","modified_gmt":"2021-10-25T15:16:19","slug":"the-thrill-of-infidelity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.africa-press.net\/lesotho\/all-news\/the-thrill-of-infidelity","title":{"rendered":"The thrill of infidelity"},"content":{"rendered":"

Africa-Press – Lesotho. <\/strong><\/span>A DONKEY at a pumpkin farm, usually takes a single bite from each pumpkin without any care that it will leave them to rot. Basotho men are being associated with such a culture, as the country seeks answers to cases of infidelity that continue to rock communities.<\/p>\n

Men, some people claim, will always want to have sex with every woman they meet before moving to the next one. As a result, their behaviour fuels infidelity, say some people.<\/p>\n

\u201cInfidelity has always been there since time immemorial,\u201d said Ratokelo Nkoka, a retired Sesotho teacher who is also an expert on issues related to tradition and culture.<\/p>\n

\u201cEven in the Bible men had multiple sexual partners,\u201d he said. This is also rife in other African countries where men leave their homes to seek jobs in faraway places.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe woman left behind would want someone to sexually fulfill her.<\/p>\n

This is because going for such long periods without sex also affects her, she gets bored,\u201d he said, adding that sometimes the extra-marital affairs result in contentious pregnancies.<\/p>\n

He said in Sesotho, any child born by a woman who is married belongs to the family and has a sense of belonging to that family even if he is a product of infidelity.<\/p>\n

In Sesotho, mosali ea nyetsoeng ka likhomo haa tsoale likhaupane, this loosely translated means that children born to a married woman are legitimate. Nkoka says it is only the wife who can authoritatively know who the father of a child is.<\/p>\n

\u201cMosali ke eena feela ea tsebang ntat\u2019a bana,\u201d he said. This means it is only the wife who knows who has fathered her children while the husband is in the dark.<\/p>\n

\u2019Makatleho Liphoto, a counsellor at Temoso Consulting, said infidelity happens from more than just a desire for sex.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn actual fact it also involves intimacy and companionship,\u201d said Liphoto.<\/p>\n

\u201cDistance is a strong contributing factor to infidelity.<\/p>\n

A man leaves his family to work elsewhere or to attend school. He will feel bored and will need a sexual partner. So the same thing applies to the woman left behind.<\/p>\n

Partners in a marriage have to regularly please each other sexually,\u201d she said. \u201cLikewise, the woman might say she is tired and no longer does things she used to do in the early years of their marriage.<\/p>\n

When that happens, infidelity creeps in,\u201d said Liphoto. At times, Liphoto says, conflicts in a marriages lead to infidelity. \u201cConflicts lead to unhappiness in the marriage.<\/p>\n

Some may choose to seek that happiness elsewhere,\u201d she said. Revenge, according to Liphoto, could also lead to infidelity where one partner discovers that the other is cheating.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen the other partner will likely seek revenge so that they could heal. Many women do not usually forgive men for cheating so to heal they may also seek to cheat,\u201d she said. Another issue is economic status, she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cA married man can fall in love with another woman who is well off financially to gain access to the woman\u2019s money.<\/p>\n

He becomes involved in infidelity so that he can save his family from starvation. \u201d
\n*Moliehi Thulo, 32, said women engage in infidelity \u201cjust to get rid of boredom\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is not a matter of money as such,\u201d she said, adding that sometimes women can have sex with random men just for sexual pleasure, especially when their husbands are away at work.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen our husbands come home every month-end, they do not satisfy us sexually because they are tired from work.<\/p>\n

Our husbands usually have fatigue when they come home,\u201d Thulo said. \u201cEven when men work locally, they are usually busy with family errands like putting bread on the table.<\/p>\n

\u201d
\nShe said some men are businessmen who are always out to ensure that their businesses are doing well.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey end up giving the woman little time.<\/p>\n

We need to have time with our husbands,\u201d Thulo said, noting cases where well-off women who engage in sex \u201cwith ordinary, simple men who cannot even give them a cent\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo this is not about money.<\/p>\n

\u201d
\nShe said this is rife in rural areas where women would be having sex relationships with shepherds and herdboys.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is because they need someone to please them sexually,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cSex is important in the lives of women. A woman who is sex-starved is a bitter woman,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

*Thabiso Moiloa pinned the problem on men.<\/p>\n

\u201cMen have an insatiable desire for sex and they are always after women. They want to have sex with every new woman they come across,\u201d she said. He said there are a couple of Sesotho idioms that support her claim.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor example, pela e seqhobo se seng e shoa ha bonolo (a rock badger that lives in a single crag is killed easily),\u201d he said. Locally, this is usually taken as meaning that it is impossible for a man to have just one sexual partner.<\/p>\n

For More News And Analysis About Lesotho<\/a> Follow Africa-Press<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Africa-Press – Lesotho. A DONKEY at a pumpkin farm, usually takes a single bite from each pumpkin without any care that it will leave them to rot. Basotho men are being associated with such a culture, as the country seeks answers to cases of infidelity that continue to rock communities. Men, some people claim, will […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":84,"featured_media":4991,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,3,8,16],"tags":[233,246,987,245],"class_list":["post-4992","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-all-news","category-community","category-homepage-english","category-twitter","tag-africa-press","tag-africa-press-lesotho","tag-infidelity","tag-lesotho"],"yoast_head":"\nThe thrill of infidelity - Lesotho<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A DONKEY at a pumpkin farm, usually takes a single bite from each pumpkin without any care that it will leave them to ro ...\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.africa-press.net\/lesotho\/all-news\/the-thrill-of-infidelity\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The thrill of infidelity\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A DONKEY at a pumpkin farm, usually takes a single bite from each pumpkin without any care that it will leave them to ro ...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.africa-press.net\/lesotho\/all-news\/the-thrill-of-infidelity\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lesotho\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/AfricaPressTunisiaa\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-10-25T08:37:24+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-10-25T15:16:19+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/static.africa-press.net\/lesotho\/sites\/62\/2021\/10\/img-6176ca2822806.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1900\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"700\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"cfeditoren\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"cfeditoren\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.africa-press.net\/lesotho\/all-news\/the-thrill-of-infidelity#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.africa-press.net\/lesotho\/all-news\/the-thrill-of-infidelity\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"cfeditoren\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.africa-press.net\/lesotho\/#\/schema\/person\/068c7ab4e9634ae78ec5d54ec46598bb\"},\"headline\":\"The thrill of infidelity\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-10-25T08:37:24+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-10-25T15:16:19+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.africa-press.net\/lesotho\/all-news\/the-thrill-of-infidelity\"},\"wordCount\":832,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.africa-press.net\/lesotho\/all-news\/the-thrill-of-infidelity#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/static.africa-press.net\/lesotho\/sites\/62\/2021\/10\/img-6176ca2822806.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Africa Press\",\"Africa Press-Lesotho\",\"infidelity\",\"Lesotho\"],\"articleSection\":[\"all news\",\"community\",\"homepage-english\",\"twitter\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.africa-press.net\/lesotho\/all-news\/the-thrill-of-infidelity#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.africa-press.net\/lesotho\/all-news\/the-thrill-of-infidelity\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.africa-press.net\/lesotho\/all-news\/the-thrill-of-infidelity\",\"name\":\"The thrill of infidelity - 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