{"id":55399,"date":"2023-12-27T21:28:39","date_gmt":"2023-12-27T21:28:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.africa-press.net\/malawi\/all-news\/healthy-relationship-why-many-lose-sex-appetite-in-marriages-viewing-sex-as-evil"},"modified":"2023-12-27T21:44:44","modified_gmt":"2023-12-27T21:44:44","slug":"healthy-relationship-why-many-lose-sex-appetite-in-marriages-viewing-sex-as-evil","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.africa-press.net\/malawi\/all-news\/healthy-relationship-why-many-lose-sex-appetite-in-marriages-viewing-sex-as-evil","title":{"rendered":"Healthy Relationship: Why many lose sex appetite in marriages? Viewing sex as evil\u2026.."},"content":{"rendered":"

Africa-Press – Malawi. <\/strong><\/span>In a world where talking about sex has been made a taboo, sex has been made so cheap, the abuse of sex has led to much pain and we grow up being told to shun sex; many end up viewing sex as evil.<\/p>\n

Godly people become programmed to frown at the thought of sex. Evil shouldn\u2019t steal what God invented. Sex is Godly and is God\u2019s idea. In your marriage, talk dirty with your spouse, get kinky, and hold nothing back; for even God expects, desires, and demands you two to enjoy sex<\/p>\n

That\u2019s why you cannot marry the person you are not in love with. This is the reason many people are heartbroken in marriages and cohabitation. They can\u2019t have the person they are in love with.<\/p>\n

You have to marry for values, vision, and lifestyle as being in love is not enough. Obviously, you have to be sexually attracted to your spouse. But marriage requires so much more than love, where sex is shared deeply. Below are some of the reasons why many lose sex appetite in marriages:<\/p>\n

LACK OF LOVE<\/b><\/p>\n

Love is the greatest aphrodisiac; when you are in love with someone, you find everything about them sexy, and you surrender to pleasure. Sex is more than getting to the climax, it\u2019s an act of intimacy, it\u2019s also about the journey that leads to the climax and the reason why the climax is special. That\u2019s why you should marry the one you are in love with.<\/p>\n

THINKING TOO MUCH<\/b><\/p>\n

When you are making love, free your mind and pleasure will follow. Put the stress aside, stop thinking about the baby, about the bills, about your responsibilities, whether your skin is too sweaty, whether you\u2019re making too much noise, whether you\u2019re doing it right, whether you are hard or wet enough. Stop worrying, you and your spouse deserve this moment of pleasure. Pleasure is first sought after in the mind.<\/p>\n

COMPARISONS<\/b><\/p>\n

When you compare and make your expectation of what good sex is based on what you read in magazines, what you read online, and what you hear from friends; when you compare the size of your hubby\u2019s tool with what you hear from friends, compare your wife\u2019s body and tricks with what you hear; you will not enjoy sex with your spouse. Sex is custom-made for every couple, leave the world behind, it\u2019s just you two.<\/p>\n

PORNOGRAPHY<\/b><\/p>\n

Pornography confuses you, it plants images of strangers in your mind. Pornography becomes addictive as you are ever searching for the next steamy scene by strangers on screens. Slowly you become numb to your spouse\u2019s sexiness as you drool over strangers; even when you climax, it\u2019s not because you are thinking about your spouse but because you are thinking of porn stars. Pornography is like taking a walk with your spouse in the streets and desiring every person who passes your way, you wouldn\u2019t do that in the streets, so why do that on screens?<\/p>\n

PROMISCUITY<\/b><\/p>\n

Sleeping with many people drains you, and eventually, you feel lost. Even though sex takes you to a form of high, sex comes with deep feelings of emptiness in you. Sex is best enjoyed exclusively, that\u2019s why we marry.<\/p>\n

SUSPICION<\/b><\/p>\n

When you suspect your spouse of unfaithfulness your body will automatically become defensive. You keep asking in your head where has your spouse been, will you contract a disease, how dare your spouse do that?<\/p>\n

FIGHTS WITH YOUR LOVER<\/b><\/p>\n

It is difficult to enjoy sex with a spouse you are mad at, a spouse you despise, who keeps hurting you, or who makes you feel taken for granted. Sex is not for people who consider themselves enemies. Resolve disputes quickly, don\u2019t end the day with grudges, and makeup before you go to bed; your sex life is at stake. Once arguments make the fire fade, it will be hard to get it back.<\/p>\n

POOR MOOD SETTINGS<\/b><\/p>\n

Is your bedroom conducive for sex? Is your bedroom an eyesore or neat? Is the decor and lighting a good ambiance for passion? Do you dress up for sex, investing in lingerie? Do you shower up to give you a fresh natural scent, or are you full of foul smell? Do you clean your pubic area, do you shave if your spouse loves it shaved? Your body is a meal, package it ready to eat; your bedroom is your sex haven, decorate it as such.<\/p>\n

RUSHING<\/b><\/p>\n

Unless it\u2019s a quickie, don\u2019t rush sex. Take your time, there is so much treasure hidden in your spouse\u2019s body. Explore. Tease your spouse, and prolong the climb so that when the climax comes it is a massive volcano and to her, multiple eruptions.<\/p>\n

SEXUAL INCOMPATIBILITY<\/b><\/p>\n

It is very important to marry someone you are sexually compatible with so that you two naturally flow. A person may be good in character and heart but not sexually compatible with you so sex will be something you both struggle to do, you\u2019ll find friction and walls on your way to climax, and it will exhaust you. Sexual compatibility is cultivated, you get it by learning from each other.<\/p>\n

PAST PAIN<\/b><\/p>\n

If the abuse of sex in the past brought you pain then you will never enjoy sex if you don\u2019t heal. If you were raped or sexually assaulted, if you were crashed sexually, if you aborted, if you used to sell your body for favors; then you need to heal to get to enjoy sex. Your spouse will help you heal if you open up, don\u2019t let something so beautiful be ruined by past pain. Let God redeem sex to how it should be sweet and pleasurable.<\/p>\n

RIGIDNESS<\/b><\/p>\n

Sex is like a graceful dance, you will not enjoy it if you are rigid and have rules and fixed patterns. Remember it is not just about you getting pleasure your way, your spouse has desires too. Your spouse could be taking you to pleasures unknown if only you relax, let loose, and be open and free.<\/p>\n

HYGIENE CONCERNS<\/b><\/p>\n

Sex sometimes can get sensually messy. Yes, your fluids mix, tongues collide, and sheets get wet. If you\u2019re busy being made love to but still playing your neat freak role you will not enjoy sex. In fact, you will find yourself repelling your spouse, you don\u2019t want to lick your spouse, don\u2019t want the tongue on you, you\u2019ll be scared of fluids mixing, and worse off, especially for women, when he climaxes you push him aside and want to run to take a shower. Your spouse can tell when you wear disgusted eyes.<\/p>\n

14..SAME OLD ROUTINE<\/b><\/p>\n

Boredom eventually makes you get tired of sex, sex shouldn\u2019t always be predictable. Be creative in bed, your sex life depends on it.<\/p>\n

HAVING SEX AS AN OBLIGATION<\/b><\/p>\n

Sex should be an expression of love,, not a duty. Tragedy is when you get to the point of sexing your spouse because you feel obligated to give your spouse conjugal rights. Sex should not be one-sided where one spouse gets pleasure and the other feels forced to play the part. This is where most women fake orgasms and end them quickly, soon sex becomes undesirable.<\/p>\n

PATHETIC FOREPLAY<\/b><\/p>\n

No foreplay or pathetic foreplay puts off the act. Sex should be like a concert, where foreplay is the curtain raiser and intercourse is the main act. When the curtain raiser is a bad performance, it taints the quality of the entire concert.<\/p>\n

COLD HINDPLAY<\/b><\/p>\n

The foreplay may be amazing, and intercourse could be incredible, but what happens after the climax shapes the view of sex. If after sex your spouse becomes cold towards you, treats you like you are no longer needed, or walks away like you are some dirty thing; you will begin to feel used. Every time you think of sex, you will remember that feeling of being used.<\/p>\n

VIEWING SEX AS EVIL<\/b><\/p>\n

In a world where talking about sex has been made a taboo, sex has been made so cheap, the abuse of sex has led to much pain and we grow up being told to shun sex; many end up viewing sex as evil. Godly people become programmed to frown at the thought of sex. Evil shouldn\u2019t steal what God invented. Sex is Godly and is God\u2019s idea. In your marriage, talk dirty with your spouse, get kinky, and hold nothing back; for even God expects, desires, and demands you two to enjoy sex.<\/p>\n

FEAR OF PREGNANCY<\/b><\/p>\n

No one, married or not desires to get a child when they are not ready. We plan our families because we want to bring children into this world when we can give the best. The fear of getting pregnant can take away the peace, one can\u2019t relax fully though the want for pleasure exists. Even after the sex, the mind stays anxious waiting for the monthly periods and gets worried when the periods are late. That worry keeps eating up the joy of sex. Save yourself the stress, discuss with your spouse and doctor the right contraceptive so that you enjoy sex, and plan when to have children or your next child.<\/p>\n

ROUGHNESS<\/b><\/p>\n

When your spouse is clumsy, hurtful, or rough on you and touching you it can easily kill the pleasure. Teach each other how to handle each other, and be sensitive. There is a difference between wild good sex and hurtful handling.<\/p>\n

WRONG WORDS OR NOT WORDS SPOKEN<\/b><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be silent, go on and moan, say something, say what you want. Your moan turns your spouse on even more, the more your spouse hears you enjoying, the more your spouse gets into it and enjoyment is heightened. Be careful also not to say something that turns your spouse off.<\/p>\n

YOUR EX<\/b><\/p>\n

If you had sex with another or others before getting married, move on from those past experiences. Don\u2019t recall those past thoughts, focus on your spouse. Don\u2019t make your spouse compete with thoughts of an ex stuck in your mind.<\/p>\n

GUILT<\/b><\/p>\n

When you know you are having sex with someone who is not yours, when you know you are being unfaithful; your conscience will not let you enjoy sex. You will know what you\u2019re doing doesn\u2019t please God.<\/p>\n

LOW SELF ESTEEM<\/b><\/p>\n

How you view yourself dictates how you approach sex. If you have low self-esteem, if you are self-conscious about your body, if you don\u2019t feel attractive, if you don\u2019t see yourself as sexy; you will not enjoy sex. Work on your self-image to make love with confidence. Love your body, dress your body well, keep fit, and make sure you don\u2019t insult or mock your spouse\u2019s body but that you compliment and praise your spouse\u2019s body; that body carries the heart of the person who loves you. Make your spouse feel sexy and you will be sexed good.<\/p>\n

SELFISHNESS<\/b><\/p>\n

The greatest sex happens when two givers give pleasure. When it\u2019s only about one spouse getting pleasure and calling the shots, the other spouse will not enjoy it but will want the act to end quickly and walk away or sleep.<\/p>\n

For More News And Analysis About Malawi<\/a> Follow Africa-Press<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Africa-Press – Malawi. In a world where talking about sex has been made a taboo, sex has been made so cheap, the abuse of sex has led to much pain and we grow up being told to shun sex; many end up viewing sex as evil. Godly people become programmed to frown at the thought […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":84,"featured_media":55398,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,6],"tags":[233,371,234],"class_list":["post-55399","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-all-news","category-files","tag-africa-press","tag-africa-press-malawi","tag-malawi"],"yoast_head":"\nHealthy Relationship: Why many lose sex appetite in marriages? 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