{"id":7323,"date":"2021-12-12T17:32:48","date_gmt":"2021-12-12T17:32:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.africa-press.net\/namibia\/all-news\/namibias-first-lady-monica-geingos-fights-social-media-trolls"},"modified":"2021-12-12T17:48:31","modified_gmt":"2021-12-12T17:48:31","slug":"namibias-first-lady-monica-geingos-fights-social-media-trolls","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.africa-press.net\/namibia\/all-news\/namibias-first-lady-monica-geingos-fights-social-media-trolls","title":{"rendered":"Namibia\u2019s first lady Monica Geingos fights social media trolls"},"content":{"rendered":"

Africa-Press – Namibia. <\/strong><\/span>On International Women\u2019s Day, the social media profiles of first ladies around the world are full of posts about equality, women\u2019s empowerment, and their own achievements.<\/p>\n

This year, however, Monica Geingos did something different.<\/p>\n

The lawyer, entrepreneur and first lady of Namibia shared a video in which she spoke about the harassment and abuse she has faced, particularly online. Displayed on screen were tweets and posts featuring insulting and misogynistic comments about her, while she narrates: \u201cWhen I\u2019m not busy being a \u2018manipulative, deceitful gold-digger\u2019, I am \u2018busy running the country\u2019 as I have \u2018bewitched my old sugar daddy husband\u2019 who is \u2018too blind to see through my feminine charms\u2019. \u201d<\/p>\n

The video went viral, and received widespread media coverage. Geingos received plenty of praise \u2014 but just as much criticism.<\/p>\n

While women in the public eye have often spoken out about the kind of gendered abuse they receive, particularly on social media, it is rare to hear a first lady be part of this collective voice. It\u2019s almost as if it goes against protocol.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right. It\u2019s not regarded as the diplomatic thing to do,\u201d said Geingos, in an interview with The Continent. \u201cBut I was finding too many young women saying to me they did not want to be in the public eye because they were seeing what I was going through. It made me feel that through my silence, I was doing these young women a disservice.\u201d<\/p>\n

Geingos was speaking via Zoom, from Namibia\u2019s capital Windhoek. She spoke with refreshing, almost unprecedented candour about the pressures of her role \u2013 and the fierce criticism she received for breaking its unwritten rules.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs women, when we speak out on these issues, there is always backlash. As a first lady you\u2019ll be told there are more important things to talk about. People will say: \u2018You\u2019re talking about sluts and whores and prostitutes, are you not ashamed of yourself?\u2019 The message is: \u2018You can talk, but don\u2019t annoy us.\u2019 \u201d<\/p>\n

Golden thread of misogyny<\/p>\n

Geingos married Hage Geingob shortly before he took office in 2015, in a ceremony described by The Namibian as \u201ca low-key Valentine\u2019s Day wedding\u201d. She was already, at the age of 38, one of the country\u2019s most successful business leaders: managing director of a private equity fund; a member of the President\u2019s Economic Advisory Council; and board chair of Ebank Namibia, the first woman to chair a commercial bank in the country.<\/p>\n

When Hage Geingob was sworn in as president, the couple voluntarily declared their assets, which were worth around 110-million Namibian dollars (around $7-million), of which nearly half came from Geingos.<\/p>\n

Despite her stellar career, Geingos was expecting to be on the receiving end of abuse as the couple took up residence in Windhoek\u2019s State House. There is, she said, a \u201cgolden thread of misogyny which runs through most of our countries\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe position of first lady is a gendered role, and ultimately it is yours purely because of your proximity to a man and not on merit. It\u2019s an official role, but an unelected one. It\u2019s a public role but there is no public accountability. It is susceptible to abuse because there aren\u2019t clear rules of how you engage with it,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

It didn\u2019t help that she did not feel entirely comfortable in her new position. \u201cThe first shock was the legitimacy crisis. Suddenly I found myself with unearned privilege.\u201d<\/p>\n

This \u201cunearned privilege\u201d was seized upon mercilessly by critics, many of whom hid behind anonymity, who called her a gold-digger. Geingos was bemused: they clearly had not read her balance sheet \u2014 which, she says, shows a \u201cmaterial deterioration\u201d in her personal fortune since she became first lady.<\/p>\n

Instead, the insults seemed to be driven by assumptions based on the age difference between her and her husband. Geingos is 44, and President Geingob is 80. Geingos understands that the nature of society makes this a topic of discussion, but argues that it only reinforces harmful patriarchal stereotypes.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am not particularly fashionable or flashy. I don\u2019t have an asset base which I accumulated after being first lady, so the only trope they can reduce me to is: \u2018She married this older powerful man,\u2019 and I think our relationship deserves the grace of not being reduced to that.\u201d<\/p>\n

The idea that a woman is only successful because she slept her way to the top or because of her proximity to a powerful man, that women do not have the skills or talent to succeed on their own, is ironically often used to hold women responsible for decisions the men around them make.<\/p>\n

All too often, Geingos is told that she is unworthy of being first lady in the same breath that she is held accountable for the decisions of her husband\u2019s government.<\/p>\n

She cites one example: A church leader was angered after she said publicly that Namibia\u2019s law against sodomy should be scrapped. She made it clear this was her personal opinion and that she has no influence over legislation. But the church leader would not believe her. \u201cHe said to me: \u2018You are the president\u2019s wife and you will influence him,\u2019 and that\u2019s why I say: the only time a man is willing to undermine the agency of another man is when it\u2019s time to blame his wife. All of a sudden my husband has no agency and because his wife thinks a law should be scrapped, it will be.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sodomy remains a crime in Namibia.<\/p>\n

Patriarchy is a pyramid scheme<\/p>\n

In Namibia, as elsewhere, the abuse directed at Geingos online has horrific real-world analogues.<\/p>\n

In April 2020, a 22-year-old woman named Shannon Wasserfall disappeared in Walvis Bay. Six months later, her body was found, buried in a shallow grave in the sand dunes that surround the town.<\/p>\n

Wasserfall\u2019s murder sparked protests against sexual and gender-based violence (SGBV). According to the 2013 Namibia Demographic Health Survey (the most recent available data), between 32% and 35% of women and girls (15 and older) have experienced violence from their partner: physical, sexual or emotional.At the time of Wasserfall\u2019s murder, gender violence was \u201cstarting to lose policy focus\u201d Geingos said. But, for adolescents and young women bearing the brunt of this violence, it was one trigger too far. They took to the streets. \u201cThose protests were critical. Even if you did not agree with their demands or how they articulated their message, you must agree that they brought the topic of SGBV back on to the table,\u201d said Geingos.<\/p>\n

Geingos has put SGBV at the centre of her own policy priorities as first lady \u2014 and her campaigns have only further inflamed her online trolls.<\/p>\n

\u201cMost days I\u2019ll see things and it does not affect me at all but then there are days where you are so worn out and the smallest thing hits you straight in the gut.\u201d<\/p>\n

She worries that her children or her parents might see some of the abuse, or worse, might be targeted by the trolls. It makes her anxious, especially because, as first lady, responding is not really an option (although \u201cbeing rough on social media is not beneath me\u201d if the circumstances demand it, she says).<\/p>\n

\u201cEvery woman has been body-shamed long enough for her to have developed an insecurity about something. The trolls will target your appearance, then they may take the financial angle because they know many women struggle to build our balance sheets. And if that does not get you, then come the \u2018who did you sleep with\u2019 comments.\u201d<\/p>\n

To protect herself, Geingos only checks her social media every few weeks. She is adamant that women who find themselves on the receiving end of online abuse should be able to ask for help, and speak out. \u201cI think patriarchy is a pyramid scheme which relies on the silence of a woman, because without the silences they can\u2019t get more recruits,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

But it is also important that women evaluate their resilience, be prepared for a backlash and find a supportive network \u2014 because the same system also makes women feel like they are the problem.<\/p>\n

\u201cI start thinking: \u2018Maybe I\u2019m on the receiving end of all this because I\u2019m a first lady and my role is undefined, so let me keep quiet.\u2019 Another woman will think, \u2018Maybe it\u2019s because I dress a certain way.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

But women\u2019s experiences of gendered abuse are not exceptional. They are only exceptionalised. \u201cThe minute we start sharing our stories and realising, \u2018I\u2019ve also been scammed,\u2019 we walk away.\u201d<\/p>\n