Africa-Press – South-Sudan. Exiled activist Peter Biar Ajak has tendered an apology to President Salva Kiir, almost a year after he criticized the head of state on Kenyan national television.
Biar’s comments did not go down well with the State House, which even forced KTN News, one of the leading media houses in Kenya, and which is owned by the family of former Kenyan President Daniel Arap Moi, to apologise to President Kiir.
Speaking to City Review Digital from his base in Washington DC, Biar said that it took him a long time to drop his hardline stand because he needed time to heal.
He added that he made the apology after soul-searching and that he has since realized that his statements were demeaning to the office of the head of state.
“I made those comments out of anger. I was extremely angry about some of the things that were done to me. I was not in the right frame of mind by then,” he told City Review Digital via phone.
“When I made those statements, I received several calls from family and friends asking me to apologise but I don’t think I was ready by then. I was still hurting and emotional when I thought of the things that were done to me (by the National Intelligence Services). But after a lot of soul searching, I’ve realized that I made a mistake to the President, who is not only a symbol of unity to the people of South Sudan but also an elder,” he added.
While appearing on the television show last April, Ajak claimed that the president, who was speaking during a state funeral of ex-Kenyan President Mwai Kibaki, was intoxicated.
He says that nothing can justify his comments.
“The statement was extremely personal. He (President Kiir) did not deserve that,” Ajak told this publication.
“Although I am not sure whether my apology will satisfy you, I want to assure you that I am giving it freely without the admonition of anyone. There is no excuse I can provide to explain away my transgression,” he added in a statement.
Ajak was detained by the National Security Service (NSS) for unspecified reasons. He claims that while in detention, he was tortured before intelligence followed him to Nairobi, Kenya, where he was seeking treatment and forced to flee for his safety.
“I endured nearly two years of brutal and humiliating detention simply for exercising my freedom of speech – a right for which Your Excellency and the masses of our people fought for more than two decades to realise. And after being released from this unjustified imprisonment, your NSS agents still followed me to Nairobi, where I was undergoing medical treatment, and forced me into exile to lead a life of a refugee for the second time in my life.
Ajak, who on October 2020, became the first South Sudanese to earn a PhD from the University of Cambridge, spent 18 months in detention.
“But even those grievances cannot justify what I said.
“This is not only because of the position you occupy and your personal efforts in the creation of our nation, but most importantly because you are my elder and uncle,” he added in a detailed apology.
He added that he made the remarks to “hurt you.” He, however, noted that holding more grievances is what has led South Sudan to where it is now saying that forgiveness can help the nation heal.
“I wanted you to feel the same pain I felt. I wanted you to understand how much it hurts. But hurting you neither healed me nor brought me the satisfaction of any kind. And while relatives and friends immediately implored me to retract my statement, my pride and anger prevented me. But I now realize that hurting you because I was aggrieved stemmed from a desire for retribution—the need to apply the ancient Jewish law of “an eye for an eye” from the Old Book, which can only make the whole world blind if taken to its logical conclusion.
He was arrested in July 2018 on a series of charges, including treason, insurgency, harbouring terrorists, espionage, and insulting the president.
He left Blue House in January 2020.
By 2020, Ajak was a fellow at the National Endowment for Democracy and at the Africa Center for Strategic Studies.
By the time of his release, Ajak had suffered liver and kidney problems from having to drink salty and dirty water while in prison. He also had a damaged back from sleeping on the floor. But he says that the pain cannot go away if he doesn’t free his heart by forgiving those who wronged him even as he seeks the very forgiveness from those he once wronged with his words.
“I came to understand that our people could be hurting each other because of the pain they might have suffered in the past. That is why vengeance is rampant in our society. And because of this, we are not allowing ourselves to heal but only perpetuating the vicious cycle of grief. I have come to firmly believe that our country can only heal with genuine forgiveness, which cannot be coerced or bought. Rather, it flows effortlessly from a changed heart. As such, I beg Your Excellency to have a change of heart and to forgive my egregious offence.
“And as my elder and president, you did not deserve the remarks I made. Regardless of whether you accept my apology or not, I promise you that I will do everything within my power to never repeat this same mistake again.
“I know that your anger towards me is great, and I will completely understand it if you find it difficult to afford me the benefit of your mercy.
“All I can do is acknowledge my error, beg compassion from Your Excellency, and hope that your heart will not remain hardened against your son, forever. From the depths of my soul, I am sorry for the injury I have caused you. I truly hope that you are able to forgive and to let go of whatever bitterness Your Excellency may feel towards me.”
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