{"id":52253,"date":"2023-11-20T19:11:30","date_gmt":"2023-11-20T19:11:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.africa-press.net\/zambia\/all-news\/the-two-biggest-myths-about-happiness"},"modified":"2023-11-20T19:50:56","modified_gmt":"2023-11-20T19:50:56","slug":"the-two-biggest-myths-about-happiness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.africa-press.net\/zambia\/all-news\/the-two-biggest-myths-about-happiness","title":{"rendered":"The Two Biggest Myths About Happiness"},"content":{"rendered":"

Africa-Press – Zambia. <\/strong><\/span>What if everything we ever thought we knew about happiness was wrong? In their new book, Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier, Oprah and happiness expert Arthur C. Brooks share research-based, real-life strategies to find authentic joy and purpose in our lives.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s nothing strange about wanting to be happy. \u201cThere is no one who does not wish to be happy,\u201d the theologian and philosopher Augustine flatly declared in 426 CE, with absolutely no evidence necessary then or now. Find us someone who says, \u201cI don\u2019t care about being happy,\u201d and we will show you someone either delusional or not telling the truth.<\/p>\n

What do people mean when they say they \u201cwant to be happy\u201d? Usually, two things: First, they are saying they want to achieve (and keep) certain feelings\u2014joyfulness, cheerfulness, or something similar. Second, they are saying there is some obstacle to getting this feeling. \u201cI want to be happy\u201d is almost always followed by \u201cbut…\u201d<\/p>\n

Consider Claudia, an office manager in New York. At age 35, she\u2019s been living with her boyfriend for the past five years. They love each other, but he is not ready to make a permanent commitment. Claudia doesn\u2019t feel that she can plan for the future\u2014where she will live, whether she will have kids, how her career arc will go. This frustrates her and leaves her at loose ends, making her feel sad and angry. She wants to be happy but doesn\u2019t think she can be until her boyfriend makes up his mind.<\/p>\n

Or consider Ryan. He thought that when he was in college he would make lifelong friends and set his career goals. Instead, he came out of school more confused about life than when he went in. Now, at age 25, he\u2019s thousands of dollars in debt, jumps from job to job, and feels aimless. He hopes he will be happy when the right opportunity comes along and makes his future clear.<\/p>\n

Margaret is 50. Ten years ago, she thought she had everything figured out\u2014she worked part-time, her kids were in high school, and she was active in her community. But since her children left the nest, she\u2019s felt restless and dissatisfied with everything. She browses houses on Zillow, thinking it might be helpful to move. She thinks a big change will bring happiness, but she doesn\u2019t know what the necessary change is.<\/p>\n

Finally, there\u2019s Ted. Since he retired, he hasn\u2019t had real friends. He\u2019s lost touch with everyone from work. He\u2019s been divorced for years, and his adult children are focused on their own families. Sometimes he reads, but he mostly watches television to pass the time. He thinks he would be happy if there were more people in his life, but he can\u2019t seem to find them.<\/p>\n

Claudia, Ryan, Margaret, and Ted are normal people with normal problems\u2014nothing strange or scandalous. (They\u2019re actually composites of people whom we have met and worked with many times.) Each is dealing with the ordinary difficulties that any of us could face in our lives, even without making big missteps or taking foolish risks. And their beliefs about happiness and life are normal\u2014but mistaken.<\/p>\n

Claudia, Ryan, Margaret, and Ted all are living in a state of \u201cI want to be happy, but…\u201d If you break that down, you\u2019ll see that it\u2019s predicated on two beliefs:<\/p>\n

1. I can be happy…<\/p>\n

2. …but my circumstances are keeping me stuck in unhappiness.<\/p>\n

The truth is that both those beliefs, as persuasive as they sound, are false. You can\u2019t be happy\u2014though you can be happier. And your circumstances and your source of unhappiness don\u2019t have to stop you.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s what we mean when we say you can\u2019t be happy. Searching for happiness is like searching for El Dorado, the fabled South American city of gold no one has ever found. When we search for happiness, we may get glimpses of what it might feel like, but it doesn\u2019t last. People talk about it, and some claim to possess it, but the people who society says should be completely happy\u2014the rich, the beautiful, the famous, the powerful\u2014often seem to wind up in the news with their bankruptcies, personal scandals, and family troubles. Some people do have more happiness than others, but no one can master it consistently.<\/p>\n

If the secret to total happiness existed, we would have all found it by now. It would be big business, sold on the internet, taught in every school, and probably provided by the government. But it isn\u2019t. That\u2019s kind of weird, isn\u2019t it? The one thing we all want, since Homo sapiens appeared 300,000 years ago in Africa, has remained elusive to pretty much everybody. We\u2019ve figured out how to make fire, the wheel, the lunar lander, and TikTok videos, but with all that human ingenuity, we have not mastered the art and science of getting and keeping the one thing we really want.<\/p>\n

The fact that complete happiness in this life is impossible might seem like disappointing news, but it isn\u2019t. It\u2019s the best news ever, actually. It means we all can finally stop looking for the lost city that doesn\u2019t exist, once and for all. We can stop wondering what\u2019s wrong with us because we can\u2019t find or keep it.<\/p>\n

We can also stop believing that our individual problems are the reasons we haven\u2019t achieved happiness. No positive circumstance can give us the state of bliss we seek. But no negative circumstance can make getting happier impossible, either. Here is a fact: You can get happier, even if you have problems. You can even get happier in some cases because you have problems.<\/p>\n

These two mistaken beliefs, and not what life throws at us, are the real reason so many people are stuck and miserable. They want something that doesn\u2019t exist, and they think that any progress is impossible until all the barriers in life are cleared away.<\/p>\n

For More News And Analysis About Zambia<\/a> Follow Africa-Press<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Africa-Press – Zambia. What if everything we ever thought we knew about happiness was wrong? In their new book, Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier, Oprah and happiness expert Arthur C. Brooks share research-based, real-life strategies to find authentic joy and purpose in our lives. There\u2019s nothing strange about […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":84,"featured_media":52251,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,6],"tags":[234,235,233],"class_list":["post-52253","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-all-news","category-files","tag-africa-press","tag-africa-press-zambia","tag-zambia"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Two Biggest Myths About Happiness - Zambia<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What if everything we ever thought we knew about happiness was wrong? 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