Africa-Press – Lesotho. If politics was a school our politicians would be in a special class. They are slow learners. You see them now crisscrossing the country and pretending to be with the people.
They are not kissing dirty babies like the Americans but bringing goodies to rallies. Some blankets here. Some beans there. Makoenya here. They are doling out cash and other trinkets to villagers they think are dull and unsophisticated.
Those who call this crudity ‘vote buying’ underestimate our people in the villages. They don’t know what they are talking about. Pseudo analysts stuck to bookish narratives.
The people are three steps ahead of the politicians. They are not being bought because they have mastered the game and are playing it well. They will take the goodies, sing at rallies and listen to the politicians spitting the same old wretched lies.
This week, the DC will bring them maize-meal and the RFP will be coming with cooking oil in two weeks. The ABC will hand them cash today and the AD will bring blankets tomorrow.
The people don’t discriminate on whose goods they will take. Each donation will be named after the political leader who brought it. The blanket from the DC will be called Mokhothu.
The ABC’s packets of beans are Kabi. You hear them talking about who they will be “eating” or “drinking” this weekend. They have a schedule of whose food they will be eating every week until the elections.
Experience has taught them that they will be orphans after the elections. They have to eat now and they are eating. And they will promise to vote for any of the politicians who bring goodies.
But don’t be fooled because they know what they are doing. They know the politicians are pathological and unrepentant liars. Compulsive thieves who will steal even a fatuku if they break into an empty house.
There will be no schools, bridges or jobs. Muckraker has a brilliant way of buying votes and she gives it to the politicians for free because they like free things.
Don’t bother giving food because that won’t work. Makoenya are a pathetic bait. They reflect more on the giver than the receiver. They will vote for someone else while wearing your blankets.
Here is the best way to make sure people vote for you. Buy 5 000 pairs of shoes and take them to a rally. Distribute the left shoe to everyone and then promise to give them the right shoe when you win the election.
If they vote for your rival you simply keep the right shoe. If they vote the wrong way you simply call a rally and ask them to bring some wood because you are slaughtering a cow then.
Then when they come you sing them a song. It goes like this: U fapantse lieta, u jele bonase. You dance while throwing their right shoes into the fire.
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