Africa-Press – Lesotho. As we continue exploring issues surrounding young adults, and are currently on the issue of married young adults. The rationale is to help young adults with
guidance on how to avoid issues, which might be detrimental to their marriage. This is to help them realize that there are other surrounding factors to be taken
into serious consideration after signing up for marriage other than love and romance. We previously discussed the roles of a man in various aspects of their
marriage life, and today we will discuss woman roles. I am more than happy that this article is released during the holidays when families are together so,
this could be the time we take these roles into practice. A woman as a wife: Momen may look like they are a bit passive in matters of relationships and making marriages work.
That is a big mistake as women have many roles, even more than men do. A woman’s role as a wife is the major role to be cautious of. A woman should accept her husband for what he is
and not try to change him. If the stage of choosing a marriage partner has been passed, it cannot be supplemented later. An attempt to change the husband turns
a wife into a nagging horror and this brings harmful tension in the home. It would be best for the wife to concentrate on her husband’s good qualities and express
admiration and appreciation for his holistic (physical, mental, social and even spiritual) capabilities. Wives should be their husband best morale boosters who
make home a place for them to want to return to, after long days of hard work. This will even encourage him to spend more time at home. Truth be told, a man
who is mostly criticized in his house will less likely feel tenderly about his wife, and we know where this may lead. In the previous issue, we brought to our reference
the scriptural verse on husbands and wives. The issue of women submitting to their husbands is of paramount importance because when they submit then their
husband have no choice but to love them to the depth of their hearts. A woman as a mother: In most cases, after child bearing, most women lose physical stamina to almost all their normally, well performed activities.
She needs tender, understanding and support from the husband who unfortunately may have his intimacy needs. This becomes somehow challenging because it brings
some sort of competition between a husband and a child. Regardless of all of this, a husband must be put first in the marriage; otherwise, they may feel neglected.
It is common error for mothers to give more attention to their children than their husbands. This is very dangerous as the husband may feel neglected and may even develop some
resentment to the child. As this deepens, the mother shares her frustrations about her husband to the child making matters worse as the child is likely to
develop disrespect and hatred to its father. A woman as the provider of emotional security : Everyone in live needs a sense of belonging, that someone cares for them.
This is however, a big deal mostly for babies than for older children. In its absence sanity may develop. Children develop emotional stability from the relationship they have with their mothers.
This is important because if their relationship is good, they feel secure and cared for. This helps them develop a stable personality and a strong self-concept.
The mother as a teacher: In most homes, the responsibility of training children is on their mother. Whether they are teachers by profession or not, the first school in a child’s life is in their home and the lead teacher is the
mother. A good teacher’s information is trusted to be true without doubting by his pupils, so is the case, in a good mom teacher. Her teachings are reliable
and her commands are not doubted. A good mother on teaching his child displays no emotions than benefits. She makes a child comply when necessary without scolding, nagging or punishing.
This does not mean that punishment is not used at all in teaching children, but it should be used for the benefit of the child not just to make him feel hurt.
The attitude being, still to express love. Consistency in training our children is a very important aspect. Inconsistent discipline on the mother’s part produces
confusion and panic within a child. A child might even conclude that the teacher (mom) is the one confused and decide to leave the lessons unattended.
A mother is actually responsible for the holistic development of the child: Social development (including talents, education), physical development (physiological, health) involving issues of diet and
taking care of the body and even their spiritual development. Researchers have found out that the first five years of a child’s development are very crucial and should not be taken for granted.
The home environment created by parents during this period will have a huge impact on the child’s future. Parents who are involved in their children’s
development have immensely contributed to their future. When the childbearing phase soon passes and parents enter a phase of upbringing, and the time for dating, schooling and other activities
and peer groups emerge for the child, the family should come together for planning and suggestions so that whatever is done is what has been agreed on.
Parents should never neglect their children’s daily activities because of their commitments. Making time for children’s daily activities is very crucial.
Parents should not see themselves as bosses in their homes but should play a softer role. By allowing all members, contributing to decision making in matters that affect them, family loyalty and cohesiveness
will be built. This approach provides excellent training for the future and cultivates a rich climate for personal growth and positive attitude toward each
family member. Let us enjoy our children during this time of Christmas and of end of the year, ready to adopt some of the tips so far given. Mamohapi Thokoa is a professional counsellor, facilitator of Psychology of adult
education, Communication media and Research courses at the National University of Lesotho –IEMS, high School teacher, and LIEP development stakeholder’s representative.
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