Africa-Press – Zambia. This is my message to you today, on this beautiful, cold Sunday afternoon. Don’t hurt people, then expect them to heal on your timeline. Yes, we all make mistakes. We have hurt good people. We’ve failed those who loved us, broken those who trusted us, and in some cases, turned gentle souls into hardened ones. That is the reality of human error.
But here is what must be said and said loudly. To err is human but to forgive is divine, this truth is not a passport to keep hurting people. It is not a license to cause pain, then quickly whisper “I’m sorry” and expect applause from the universe. It is not a justification to bruise someone, then act surprised when they don’t smile through the bleeding.
What breaks my heart is the way the world often demands kindness from the already wounded. The victim is told to forgive fast, act mature, and move on while the one who caused the damage is comforted, even celebrated, for simply saying sorry. That is not divine. That is manipulation. That is evil dressed in virtue.
If someone is still hurting, do not demand their forgiveness. Do not rush their healing just because your guilt is too loud. Do not paint yourself as the hero in a story where you were the one who broke them. That is emotional abuse. That is gaslighting.
Apology is not a performance. Regret is not a trend. If you are truly sorry, then let your actions prove it consistently, humbly, quietly.
Own your actions. Respect the pain you caused. Stop turning victims into villains just because their truth makes you uncomfortable. Yes, forgiveness is divine. But no one owes it to you on your timeline.
True remorse is not about rushing the process. It’s about honoring the damage and doing the hard work of change.E
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