Africa-Press – Lesotho. In commemoration of the 16 days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence (GBV), Women and Youth Empowerment programme under Bam Group Foundation (BGF) hosted a virtual meeting
to give a platform for both women and men who are directly and indirectly affected by GBV to share their stories. Speaking at the interactive meeting, BAM Group Chief Executive Officer (CEO) ‘Mamashiya
Ntšepeng Tšita Tikiso indicated that their focus is on women and issues that surround them, including men to bring about equality. Tšita-Tikiso recited the
stereotypical norms of the Basotho nation that make GBV socially acceptable. She picked that it has been culturally allowed for women to be treated in the demeaning
manner for their male counterpart to gain the manhood “ego”. She added that most women are often scared to leave toxic relationships mainly in consideration
of what people would say or in sympathy for their children. GBV activist Mpho Rasethuntša Mokotso shared her real life story where of the main highlights,
she communicated some of the symptoms of an unhealthy marriage. Mokotso related that in the midst of joy, there would be signs that most women tend to ignore
or refer to as true love. “I had known my husband for five years before we got married. He was my high school sweetheart, we spent every day together but the
first weekend of my marriage I was alone,” she said. She furthered that at college her boyfriend would take him out when there were entertainment activities and she did not realise that he was controlling her.
She said she justified her husband’s actions every time there was a red flag as she was often blinded by pleasant, loving deeds he offered to cover-up his flaws and win
her heart. Mokotso said it did not start with a violence rather emotional abuse such as, “endless calls from women, not sleeping at home not allowing you to do
certain things like attending my family activities, but even then I still made excuses for him and stayed”. Mokotso regretfully mentioned that the elders are influential to GBV, citing that every time she
confided to them they viewed the situation as normal, saying she has to learn to make peace with it. “Yet I was suffering with my two kids who witnessed me
being violated physically and verbally and that affected them negatively,” she sobbed. She recalled that in one of the fights she was rescued by her kid who
threw himself in the fight. Stating her side of the global cry a Human Rights Activist Lineo Matlakala said her abuse started from her own family where her father was abusing her mother, she said that her father
was a good father but a horrible husband. She mentioned that her mother was never emotionally available for them but her and her sisters only realised
later on that their mother was hurt, she was disrespected and exhausted as she was cheated on. Matlakala expanded that her mother had to work in Mokhotlong when her father went to further his studies.
As young as they were, they stayed with nannies who would beat them with her younger sister. “In one incident we went for a farewell party and got back
immediately after sunset, we were bitten hard, my little sister was banged against the walls,” Matlakala recalled, saying she was even scared of changing
television channels. She stated that, one day her sister (nanny) bit her for saying she talked back when she told her that the bus was leaving her for school.
She says her teacher forced her to talk as she had bruises and slap prints on her face. She proudly said she found a voice from that day to even form a group that empowers the voiceless, the abused and the
broken. Reflecting back to her experience, Matlakala perceived that the nannies had no idea of love and care, supposing that is how they were raised. She understandably
said she forgives them and hopes that lessons on GBV including domestic violence are spread across the world, for it to be filled with love and compassion for humanity.
The virtual meeting also saw interaction from other audience who disclosed their fears pertaining GBV especially looking at how normal it has become. This called attention also to
men who shared about male violation that is often overlooked. There was a mention of vulgar women who intentionally dehumanize their partners and the usual act of women who deny men access to their children after divorce.
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