Africa-Press – Eswatini. Royal Emissary, Prince Sigombeni has said that it was a bad omen for a man to bring his lover into the same home he shared with his deceased wife.
He said according to the custom, this was unheard of and should never be condoned.
Prince Sigombeni was reacting to the drama which had unfolded at Gobholo on Sunday when residents forcefully evicted a widower’s live-in lover.
This was after Patrick Mavuso brought his lover to live with him, after the passing of his wife, in February.
Prince Sigombeni said Emaswati were well known to be respectful people, especially towards culture and tradition.
“Siswati siya hlonishwa. Kufa kuya hlonishwa. The death of a husband or wife is well recognised as an emotionally devastating event. So as Emaswati we have to greatly respect the passing on of another person. It is taboo for a widowed man to bring his lover into the house of his deceased wife. It is not done and we disapprove of such behaviour in our culture,” the prince said.
He went on to state that the act of bringing another woman into a widow’s home was condemned even when you had moved on. He said this was because the deceased should be respected, together with the family as a way to showing empathy.
He said as far as he knew, there was no time frame set on when one could move on but it was important that one took enough time to grieve.
“Women are normally known to grieve for a year or two. I could say that is about the right amount of time one needs to fully grieve and respect themselves, the loss of their loved one and relatives as well,” the prince said.
He said in most instances, when you had grieved respectfully, in-laws were most likely to summon someone to the home, so that they took the responsibilities of the late spouse.
He added that when a man had grieved enough and was ready to move on, he was allowed to do so; however, the widower was expected to build another home for the next wife.
He further advised that a widower’s lover should never use the house belonging to one’s deceased spouse as this could in time cause unnecessary drama and bad luck.
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