Africa-Press – Lesotho. Muckraker has always had a thing for Nkaku Kabi. Wink, wink, wink. Apart from being daring and ambitious, the man is fetching. But those attributes will not catapult him into the prime minister’s office.
That’s because he has surrounded himself with a battalion of political zealots who cannot scheme their way out of a matchbox. Chaps who have deluded themselves into thinking that they are political strategists.
People who cannot spell their names under pressure. Charlatans who confuse action for strategy. People who will not see political trickery even if it hits them in the face.
He has himself to blame for his failure to wrestle power from Mr Softie. Now he has been reduced to howling at rallies and cracking flat jokes. At the recent rally, he was pleading with Mr Softie to hand him power.
Then as if to lighten the moment, he said something about Mr Softie telling him that he needs time to finish his fuel in the official cars. It was a dull joke not even fit for canned laughter.
The kind devoid of a punch line. Those who giggled were doing so out of pity or trying to please him. You know the pointless conversation that starts when it’s apparent that someone has farted.
Some wannabe political commentators have been speculating as to what Nkaku should do to remove Mr Softie. Don’t read much into their prattling for they know not what they are talking about.
It’s all balderdash popped from mouths that have rebelled against empty heads. The reality is that nothing short of epic grovelling will persuade Mr Softie to surrender power.
Mr Softie has the numbers in parliament and nothing to lose. Not because his pension is guaranteed as some people have been claiming. The prime minister’s pension is small change compared to his pension from the IMF.
His belligerence has nothing to do with the fact that he has qualified for pension. Rather, he is hanging on to power because he can and there is nothing the ABC can do about it.
He is that jilted lover who will spill beans about her ex-lover just to inflict some anguish. The idea is not to persuade the ex to change their heart but for revenge.
Given the shoddy way he was treated, Mr Softie has every right to retaliate against the ABC’s executive committee. If you want the ‘the turn the other cheek for a second slap’ story ask your pastor.
This is politics. It is both brutal and petty. Call it illogical if that makes you feel educated. But all is not lost for Kabi and his mob. There are three options.
First, he can form a shadow government and pretend to be the government in waiting. He can be a shadow prime minister with shadow ministers. They can have their cabinet meetings at the Memorial Hall and nothing stops them from presenting their own budget.
Such play-acting is better than nothing. Fake it till you make it. The second option is to beg Mr Softie to appoint him Minister in the Prime Minister’s office.
That way he would be close to the seat of power and can be a useful apprentice prime minister. Replacing Tšolo is better than replacing nothing. He can also request to be appointed a PS (Perishable Service).
The idea is to be somewhere in the vicinity of power. If he can’t be the chief of the government then maybe being chief of a ministry will do. Beggars are not choosers.
Until then, he is just another Jeremane Ramathebane. He is slightly above Mohau ‘White Horse’ Thakaso but they are in the same stokvel or WhatsApp group.
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